she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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