I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
