butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
