i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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