i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
