3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
one might say we're banned from that church
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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