im about as happy as oj after his trial
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
