Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
