he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize
