Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
