I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
