I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
