i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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