I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
