He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
