ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
