I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
