You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
