We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
