Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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