this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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