i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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