Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
