my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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