My room smells like vodka and shame
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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