so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize