12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize