I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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