Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
