3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
