In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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