THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
