need another drink. this is the easiest way
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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