ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I want a musical about memes.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
