Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
