"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
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