Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Randomize
