All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize