i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
