2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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