awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
My vagina is officially offended.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
