How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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