I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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