All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
