escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
