I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
