my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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