super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
