I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
