People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
