in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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