I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
