Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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