did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
