I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
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