capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
