covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
