We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
God, I missed his penis.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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