We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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